Havent found a way for me to express out my thoughts and feelings,
so yeah back to blogger today.
K basically life sucks now.
Never been really happy these two weeks.
And daily routine is just waking up, school, eat and sleep.
So sick of it, left out somethingg.
Im drowned in my emotional thoughts.
Why at the first place i have to think things in sucha way and make everything complicated.
Why things turn out this way.
Why i dont have the guts to make any actions.
Why am i so sentimental.
Why didn't i cherished and appreciate things around me.
Why i only regret now.
Why did i took things for granted.
So many whys and what ifs in my head.
My heart skipped a beat today. And im absoutely sure that its still you.
Feeling so messed up and all i wanna do is to get out of school asap.
Rushed out and get home.
But the bus rides, the familiar places..
Sometimes i think im strong enough to overcome things,
cus i'd been thru similar situation.
But have to admit that im a coward this time round.
I'd been having almost the same dream everynight.
And it's really every night ok.
You.
Me.
Happy.
Yes, seems so real.
Could feel your touch and hear your voice so clearly.
But when i woke up and realized everything was a dream, what can i do?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Sit on bed, look around and see images of us.
Then think again why didnt i appreciate,.
Those little things and time in the past meant so much now.
As i lie on my bed in my silent room with only the clock sound,
i feel like time passed so fast.
But now im wasting every seconds.
I didn't do anything to fight for what i want.
But actually i wanted do, i just run out of ideas how to.
Where'd my courage gone to.
Had first h2h talk with mom that day.
I told her that this is the first time im so so serious,
and that i will never think of giving up.
True indeed, i dont needa compare with any other previous relationships to know.
I myself understand that i'd never felt this way before.
Before being together with you,
i'd never really felt happiness.
i'd never really grown up.
i'd never really know how to think and cherish.
i'd never known that other than my parents,
there's still someone out there who can love me so much.
But things just changed.
Dont wanna stay this way anymore.
I have not much expectations.
I only wanna be happy with you.
